The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
