dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
