We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
