how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
