"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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