I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
