id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
not ubering you a puppy
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
