Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
