He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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