a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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