oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
