that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
