WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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