I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
