You're so nebulous sometimes
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
