forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".