I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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