Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Dignity is for republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize