this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
