i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
