i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I said "one day" and that day is not today
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
