me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
