Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
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