Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
