Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Well I just put wine in my tea
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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