Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
