I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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