me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
