I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
