we're blogging at a bar
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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