She's JV to your varsity
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
and she was petting her beer can
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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