I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
