You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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