And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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