I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
