Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
