does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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