My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Randomize
