Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
