the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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