The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
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there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
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I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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