yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
