mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I am naked and annoyed.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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