She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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