hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
