whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
