Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
