I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
