Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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