So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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