Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
