You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Will exercising make me less horny?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
