Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize