he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
