Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
