Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
