he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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