yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
