So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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