Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Can you bring me the toilet please
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
