He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
